Disclaimer: All rights for characters, places, and concepts belong to their owners. [Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu own Gundam Wing]
What the hell are you talking about?
Lady O smacks the narrator upside the head.
This is one of those stories where the G-boys are forcibly placed in some fractured fairy tale to the pure enjoyment of the author.
Lady O cackles evilly.
Yes...well....
Lady O still cackling.
Narrator duck tapes her mouth shut and throws her in the closet.
Yes... well. As I was saying, it was time of magical castles and talking donkeys. It is with this talking donkey that our story begins.
Down a dusty road, a young man and his beast walked. The young man was clad in poor attire, having only spandex shorts, a tank top, and yellow sneakers. A sad sight to behold. His beast was his sole possession and right now it was spitting mad.
"WHY THE HELL AM I THE ASS?!!!"
"Hn." The boy answered with a barely perceptible smirk.
"STOP YOUR FUCKING LAUGHING, YUY!!!"
Heero steps back and takes a long look at his companion. The donkey had black shoulder length hair tied into a tight ponytail. He wore his traditional garb of white. Attached to his head on a headband were two long black fur donkey ears. Attached to the back of his silk pants was a stapled on paper donkey tail from a pin the tail on the donkey game.
"Hn." The smirk was now a full-fledged smile.
"INJUSTICE!!!"
The donkey reaches for his sword to run the bastard through, but finds he is weaponless.
"Stupid onnas...mumble, mumble...stupid fangirls."
Heero nodded in agreement.
"So, Yuy, what does the mad onna want us to do this time?"
"According the mission specs I received from Dr. J, I am supposed to handle negotiations with a notorious slave trader to appropriate a means into a heavily fortified stronghold and then liberate key items from said fortress."
"Ah, then the usual... Wait a minute. A slave trader?"
"I was skeptical at first as well. But once J told me who I was dealing with, I found the mission plan sound."
"What do you mean once you found out who you were dealing with? It's appalling that you are even considering working with someone who steals people of their personal rights. It's injustice! Why would you even consider doing this?"
"It's my mission...and it's pretty much a done deal."
"Fine. But for the record, I'm completely against this idea. Besides I don't know how you're going to complete the mission while being a slave."
"Hn."
"You're right. If we don't hurry, we'll miss the rendezvous."
Both quickened their pace till they came upon a canopied rose garden. Through the vined archway, they walked. Wufei noticed that the flora was well tended. He paused but a moment to untangle one of his ears that was caught in the lush vegetation.
"Ah, you have made it. Would you care for a cup of tea?" an aristocratic man inquired from a wrought iron bistro table.
"That will be unnecessary, do you have what I need?"
Heero eyed Treize skeptically. He could see nothing that could help him with his mission.
"I have what you need." Treize replied coolly. "I see that you have what I want."
"Hn." Heero grunted in agreement.
"Then follow me." Treize beckoned them to follow to a corner of the garden where vegetables and fruit were growing. He reached down to strip a handful of beans from one of the plants, a small plastic tag marked it as "beanus maximus".
"Take these and plant them. Water them till the soil is fully saturated and wait till sunset." Treize instructed as he handed Heero the beans.
"That's it! A little plant is going to get us in! Are you INSANE?" Wufei ranted. He was more than a little concerned that Treize might be smoking something from this garden.
"My little Dragon, this will grow into a great beanstalk that Heero can climb directly to the Giant's Castle."
"Why can't I just take Wing? It would be faster and I would have the firepower I need to combat enemy insurgents." Heero was thoroughly confused. This "Beanstalk" was not a logical and efficient means of completing the mission.
"onnas." Wufei answered quietly.
"Hn?"
Wufei pointed to the closet door. You could still hear a muffled cackling.
Heero's eyes grew wide in understanding.
"Understood. I'll be leaving now." With that he turned and walked out of the garden.
"Wait, Heero!"
Wufei started to follow till he was pulled up short by a hand on his arm.
"And where do you think you're going my little dragon...err...donkey?" Treize whispered into Wufei's ear.
"Treize, you know damn well I'm on a mission. I don't have time to put up with your crap." Wufei huffed and tried to free his arm.
"Oh, but this is part of your mission." Treize smirked as he pulled out a set of silk handcuffs and a leather studded collar.
It took but a moment for Wufei to register what was going on.
"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YUY!!!"
"Now, now. Let me just put these on you."