Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I can type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.
Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.
This serene picture was abruptly broken by the coughing hum of a huge freighter. The dolphins scattered away from its noisy path and then rejoined in its wake.
"So long and thanks for all the fish," one of the mammals spat making a rude fin-gesture at the ass-end of the ship.
"Did you say something?" asked a roguish-looking youth gracing the deck of the ship, brushing his short brown hair out of his eyes against the will of the wind.
"No," replied his companion, a woman who, though in her late twenties, still held on to the childish hairstyle of double braids. "Why? Did I miss something, Your Highness?"
"Ungh," was his only response as his attention was pulled down to his pant leg on which something was tugging. The puller of the leg was a shivering white dog with a horribly drooping nose. "You're hungry already, Plue?" The prince remembered to sound exasperated, though he didn't mind in the least.
"Puun," Plue said pitifully.
"Sally?" The prince pointed to his knapsack and jerked his head meaningfully.
Sally Po, royal advisor to the Crown Prince Heero, rolled her eyes, stalked over to the overstuffed bag, rifled around its contents a bit and then flung an unidentified object at her boss. "Not even a 'please' or 'thank you,' Heero?"
Ignoring the comment, Heero snatched the UFO out of the air and in a single move, removed the cellophane from the hard candy treat and handed it to his starving pet. Plue smiled past the too-big-to-reasonably-fit-into-his-mouth lollipop, making happy little sucking noises and high stepping in a small circle.
The woman took a calming breath. "That reminds me, when we get back, you need to review the progress of the new Triton-class Mobile Suits. A final prototype cannot be built until you OK the specs."
"Triton?!" shouted a crazy-eyed crewmember from out of nowhere. The unexpected exclamation causing both the dog and the woman to jump. "King Triton's the ruler of the Merpeople, lad. Ain't no mobile suits in the great deep."
"Merpeople?" scoffed the advisor. "Where do they get sailors from, nowadays? And where can I find some decent ones. You're all mad!"
"Puun," said Plue, waving the chewed up remnants of his sucker stick. Sally gently took the stick from the trembling dog and unceremoniously tossed it over her shoulder into the depths of the ocean.
The small white stick sunk far, far below the surface world to where excitement was practically boiling, for it was the day every Mermus had been looking forward to. All of Atlantica had turned up for what was billed as the Imperial Concert of the Century. They had not arrived merely for the music and merriment. They had gathered in droves to experience their first look at the youngest child of the Ocean Queen and they would learn the true name of the prince known only as Shinigami.
The royal herald, a seahorse with a pompous ruff around his neck, swam out above the crowd and blew a run on a golden bugle. "Her Royal Majesty, Queen Une Triton!"
The queen arrived in style. Her carriage was a giant clamshell, pulled by four pedigreed white dolphins, completely unrelated to the scurvy dolphins from the beginning of our tale. The Queen's unbound hair trailed behind her, a fitting banner as she made one sweep of the concert stadium and then settled in her place of honor.
The herald allowed the clamor to recede a bit before introducing the guest of honor. "And presenting, the Royal Court composer, the graceful, the acrobatic, the astoundingly tight-lipped, Trowa!"
Fanfare for the conductor was somewhat diminished from the queen's, but the red-clawed youth waved to his audience, his expression inscrutable even under the clown mask that covered the right side of his face. He swam down to the orchestra pit, bowed to his musicians and raised his wand. The stage exploded in light and song.
Six mermaids popped out of rainbow-colored shells scattered haphazardly across the stage. The only shell that remained closed was a matte-black one set dead center.
Oh, we are the daughters of Triton,
Great mother who loves us and named us well!
There's Excel!
Excel cried out, "Hail Ilpalazzo!"
And Fanta!
"Don't look into her eyes, Master Ryang!" shouted Fanta.
Chocolate!
"Darling! Oh ho ho ho ho ho!" cackled Chocolate.
And Tira!
Tira screeched, "Call me Queen!"
Medea!
"I will be queen of Avalon!" declared Medea.
Hinano!
Hinano laughed, "Ha ha ha! You're Welcome!"
And then there is another in his musical debut!
Our charming little brother, we're presenting him to you,
To sing the song that Trowa wrote, his first note will be Do,
He's our brother Du-u-
The black shell had opened and revealed nothing. The prince was missing.
"Duo," fumed the Queen Une.
The handsome, black-finned Merman turned around to hassle his best friend and broke out into a burst of laughter.
"What?" asked the blond-haired, blue-striped fish. "What's so funny?"
Duo tried to suppress his guffaws in the palm of his hand, but failed miserably. He'd gone so far as to curl up in a tight ball and subconsciously did a summersault before stifling his reaction to mere giggles. "Quatre, have you had a chance to take a look at yourself," he managed around another bout of chuckles.
"No, why?"
"'Cause, um... Do this!" The merman rubbed the top of his head lightly.
Quatre imitated his friend. His eyes grew wide at what his hand encountered. "My hair's been mohawked!"
Duo bit his lip to prevent a grin. "Now, do this!" He flapped his arms.
The boy flapped his arms, er, hands. He screeched. "Where are my arms? I know, I'm playing a fish, but- My arms!" His aquamarine eyes had filled with tears.
"Now, do this!" He flapped his fin.
Quatre froze, tears threatening to spill. "I don't wanna."
"I bet you'd do it if a certain court composer asked you to."
The aqua orbs narrowed to slits. "You leave Trowa out of this."
"Aw, buck up it's only for one story."
"But, you get to be the hero, with a pretty fin, an' a true love, an' Deathscythe, an' everything and I'm- I'm-"
"Flounder," finished Duo patting the smaller fish on the back. He grinned and pointed to his nose. "Actually, I'm the heroine. Heero's the hero. Look on the bright side, you don't have to be Scuttle or one of the eels."
"That's true," he finally conceded. "Who's stuck being Scuttle?"
Duo's humor threatened to overcome him once more, so he just shook his head and said, "That's for me to know and you to find out. But for now, let's boogie!"
The merman spiraled down to a sunken carrier, forcing the woefully misshapen, brightly painted Quatre to follow. As they descended, a sinister shadow was cast over them.
"The hangar is this way!" Duo took off at a fast swim.
Quatre gasped, but managed to catch up before his friend had pushed the next door completely open. "I still say it's in the control room."
"Got it!" was heard only moments later. Duo clutched his prize to his breast, grinning like a loon.
"Great. Can we go now?" the fish whined. "I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Oh, come on, Quatre. Don't be such a guppy."
"I'm not a guppy," said guppy griped and then immediately squealed like a little girl.
The merman turned around and came face to, er, teeth with a wall of razor sharp ones. "Oh, hey Bruce. How've ya been?"
"Wondaful," replied the shark, politely. "You?"
"Oh, you know. It comes and goes." Quatre pulled on Duo's arm. The merman looked from the quaking fish, to the shark and back to the fish. "Haven't I introduced you to Bruce, Quat? Musta slipped my mind." Duo smiled. "Quatre, Bruce. Bruce, Quatre."
"'Allo!" said Bruce the Shark congenially.
"Duo, are you nuts?" squeaked the fish.
Ignoring his panicky sidekick, Duo continued his conversation. "How's the group thing going?"
"Got some new membas. Couple a clownfish and a rather daft little lady. Aw, but she's a sweet one, she is."
"Sweet?" repeated Quatre.
"Oh, don' worry, mate. Our motto is:" Duo joined in for this, "Fish are Friends, Not Food!"
"Well, it's been great catching up, Bruce, but we're late for an appointment. I gotta see a seagull about a gundam part."
"Alright, then. See ya around. You too, little guy. I'd love to have you for dinner some time." Bruce swam off.
"Dinner?" whispered Quatre, his voice catching.
"Wufei?"
He neglected the call.
"Wufei?"
It meant nothing. It was nothing.
"Wu-man?"
"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Crap. The little brat had gotten a rise out of him.
"Uh, Wufei? Where's your wings?"
The Chinaman took a slow breath and opened his eyes. The longhaired merman waved at him. "What wings, Maxwell?"
Duo frowned for a moment. "Um, I think in this story my last name's Triton, but I guess 'Maxwell' will do."
"I thought Trowa was Triton," said Quatre, a furrow of concentration creasing his brow. "Isn't he Triton Bloom?"
"Isn't that a little off subject?" asked Duo.
"What wings, Maxwell?" repeated Wufei.
"Well, aren't you Scuttle the seagull? A seagull's gotta have wings." The reasoning of a moron could be quite astounding sometimes.
"Why is that?"
Duo took a moment before responding. "'Cause, you've gotta be able to fly."
Wufei merely pointed to the hulking figure of Gundam Nataku.
Duo shrugged. "Good enough for me."
"Not me," whined Quatre. "Look, if I have to look like this," he flapped his hands for emphasis, "Wufei should have to look stupid, too!"
The pilot drew his sword, pointing its shiny tip at the fish's nose. Quatre swallowed hard. "Or whatever. I don't care."
Wufei sheathed his blade. "What do you want, Maxwell?"
Now, Duo's grin nearly split his face in two. He plopped his treasure up onto the rock. "Well, is it or isn't it?"
The unremarkable black box bore the word "Sony" in a chrome relief. Wufei resisted the urge to shake his head. "That's a radio, Maxwell. You can put it in a Gundam, but all it does is play music."
"Music?" Why did that sound so- "Oi! Crap! The concert! My mother's gonna kill me!" He snatched the radio back up and dove for home.