Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I can type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.
Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.
"Hey, I thought it was supposed to play music." Quatre had just poked his nose in the cockpit for his fifth update of the progress in as many seconds.
"It will, but it can't this far underwater," explained Trowa slipping out of the Gundam. He didn't look it to begin with, but Trowa was a master of the surface world technologies. Duo had never heard the story of how Trowa had learned so much about humans, but it was something he'd always wondered about and it wasn't like Trowa would give him a straight answer if asked. "No radio signals."
Quatre mouthed, "Radio signals?" and the prince grinned.
"So, waddaya say, we make us a little less far underwater?"
"Can we really?" asked the fish while the crab gave a flat, "No."
"That's two to one and I outrank you both, so..." He lightly snapped his fingers and clapped his hands together, trying to look nonchalant. "Lastoneinthemobilesuitsarottencaviar!" Two bodies bolted for Shinigami's cockpit and promptly got clotheslined by an outstretched pincer.
Duo looked up from where he'd been sprawled. The lower portion of his body was folded over onto his head. "Oiya, Trowa! What'd ya do that for?" He flipped over onto his back.
"The answer is no." Trowa's expression harbored no room for objection. "You're not going up to the surface."
The prince pushed himself off the floor. "That's great, 'cause I'm not going up to the surface. I'm going up near the surface. Mom didn't say I couldn't get near the surface, just that I was not to, and I quote, 'so much as break the surface of this ocean,' end quote."
"He's right," supplied Quatre. "I was there." Trowa's face remained stone, but the shine in his eyes indicated a supersonic use of his mind to find a flaw in Duo's loophole. "Come on, Trowa. Please?"
"Give us twenty minutes," offered Duo.
"Five," was the counter offer.
"Fifteen."
"Six."
"Oi, hard bargainer! Ten."
"Alright, ten, but not a second more."
"Done!" Duo's hand shot out. Trowa stared hard at it for a moment before grasping it and shaking. "Nice doing business with ya!"
Clonk!
"Elbows, Duo! Elbows! I thought we discussed this!"
"Er... Sorry, Quat."
Bonk!
"I would appreciate not being kicked, especially since I'm only six inches in size, Your Highness."
"Forgive me, Music Man."
BamSmack!
"OW! DUOOO!"
"That's it!" Duo froze for a second, avoiding smacking, kicking or elbowing anyone. "Trowa, get under the seat behind my fin! Quatre, a little elbow space would be nice. Get your blue-striped fins down next to Trowa and everybody shut up for ten seconds!"
Both of the prince's companions zipped to their designated positions without a peep. Exactly ten seconds later, "Duo, I wanna see."
"Seeing equals getting elbowed, Quatre. Do you want to get elbowed?"
"No," responded a little voice.
"Fine then. We're almost there, anyway."
This was the 'Scythe's first test drive and it wasn't quite as much fun as the prince first imagined. Although, he'd admit that the lack of fun was probably directly proportionate to the amount of damage he was inflicting upon his friends' bodies and he was convinced that by the end of their little excursion they'd all be sporting at least one black eye.
Duo could find no fault with the Deathscythe's operation. It rode like a dream. "Coming upon fifteen feet... fourteen... thirteen..."
"Stop!" shouted the crab, flying out of his cubby and shocking the other two co-pilots.
Quatre rubbed the top of his head, where a bump was quickly swelling from its bonk to the overhead. Duo halted the 'Scythe's ascent.
"We're the-ere," announced the merman with enough cheer to disguise the fact that Trowa's unusually loud voice had ruffled him. "Ten feet. Maker work!" He gave a double-handed point to the crossed-armed, frowning crab. "Let there be music!"
Trowa stared at his prince for a full minute before relenting and then turning to mess with the radio controls. A peculiar buzz erupted from the mobile suit's sound system, before a voice rang out. "Ninety-five-five! This is Tic Tac with the hot girl check in! Are you on the road?[1]" Trowa hit another couple of buttons. "That's the way! Uh huh! Uh huh! I like it! Uh huh! Uh huh!"
"And there was music," whispered Trowa.
The song was just winding down and the channel flipped to a commercial. "More," begged Quatre, glomping onto one of the crab's claws. "I want more!"
"That's the way I like it," declared Duo in a singsong, leaning over and resting his chin on his palms. "Uh huh. Uh huh."
The crab punched just one button this time. "I've got sunshine, on a rainy day. When it's cold outside-"
"Next!" interrupted Duo.
Punch. "-guess I just won't get paid. Blame it on the train, but the boss is already there."
"Next!"
Punch. "I like big butts-"
"Woah! Next!"
Punch. "I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day. You've got me in a spin, but everyfin is A-okay! Touching you! Touching me! Touching you, God you're touching-"
"Next!" This time it was the fish. The prince glared, but Quatre just shrugged.
Punch. "It's time for traffic and weather on the nines-"
"Next!"
A light exploded above the 'Scythe. The trio immediately forgot their fascination with the radio.
"Ah," came the calm reply over the speakers.
"Don't 'Ah' me! Just get your skinny butt back down here!" The advisor thrashed around at another two explosions even though Heero had drawn the squadron of mobile suits well away from the bulky freighter. "Noin!"
"Ma'am!"
"Why the hell aren't you covering His Royal Highness' ass?"
"Because His Royal Highness is too busy covering my ass for us to reverse positions," the soldier replied reasonably.
Subordinates... Can't live with 'em, can't- Sally pulled herself up short. It wasn't right to take her irritation out on Lucrezia when it was Heero she was angry with.
"We've got another two squadrons coming in from the east." That was not what she needed to hear.
"Andersen, Voight, get out there. Heero, get back on this ship. Now."
"Nn."
"I don't want to hear anything out of you that isn't 'Yes, ma'am!'"
The little red screen blip labeled "01" did not alter its course. It continued merrily toward the three dozen green blips, down the path called "total annihilation." "Heero?" There was no reply. "Heero?" Literal pain in the ass.
"Two more squadrons heading in from the north, ma'am."
Shit.
Notes:
[2] Mind that none of the lyrics belong to me either. See: "That's the Way (I Like It)"- K.C. and the Sunshine Band. "My Girl"-The Temptations. "Manic Monday"-The Bangles. "Baby Got Back"-Sir Mix-a-Lot. "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"-The Darkness.
[1] 95.5 is a radio station in Detroit. Tic Tac is a real DJ and the Hot Girl Check In is a regular part of his show. Basically, if you think you're a hottie, you call in and say where you are and what you're up to.
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