Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I can type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.
Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.
Heero wasn't an idiot. He knew what would have happened. He just didn't want to acknowledge that he knew because he couldn't deal rationally with the reality, especially not with a guest on the other side of his office door.
Two breaths. The doors slid open on silent tracks and the prince entered, slipping them closed behind him. His visitor was seated with her back to the entrance, but she didn't turn to greet her host. Heero took the opportunity to study her on his approach.
She was a bit on the short side, probably a young teenager. Her long ebony hair was pulled back into a loose tail at the base of her neck and when Heero passed around behind his desk and finally got a look at her he noticed that her skin was so white as to be almost transparent. From behind a pair of dark sunglasses her eyes worked, feverishly studying him back.
"Miss Darilan," Heero greeted without sitting down.
She nodded. "Your Highness." There was an unexplained catch of hesitation in her response that Heero didn't like at all.
Heero wasn't in the mood to pussyfoot around with strange women demanding audiences. He placed both palms on his desktop, leaning over the girl in an effective gesture of intimidation that came all too naturally to the young prince. "To what do I owe this visit? What do you want?"
She smiled with a sickly sweetness. "Well, I had thought you'd remember me, Prince Heero."
Huh? "I don't see why I should. Have we met?"
Her smile melted into a small frown. "Of course, you were unconscious for quite a bit of the time." Her hand stole up to the bow of her shades. "I'm the one who rescued you after that awful battle." The sunglasses came off to reveal a pair of purple irises. "I'm your angel of mercy."
Oh-kay. Right. Heero bit his tongue to keep from snapping at the crazy cracker. He already knew who had rescued him and it wasn't this psycho bitch, but he was curious as to her angle. "So, what? You want reward or something?"
She very deliberately folded up the shades and placed them on the edge of the desk, looking up into his eyes. "Oh, yes. I most definitely want a reward. How about you?"
"I'm fine. Thanks."
In the end, the head won the bet and Duo found himself back in his bedroom with only one day left to rescue his love from a fate worse than death, because this deal wasn't about Duo's happiness anymore. It was about keeping Heero out of that mad woman's clutches. It wasn't Heero's fault that he'd gotten mixed up in the whole situation. It was Duo's and Duo would do anything to keep Heero from suffering from his mistake, even if that meant owning up to everything he had done and everything that he was.
Although, that probably wouldn't solve the situation, either.
"Listen," he began, pushing off the desk and crossing his arms, "If you don't have anything important to say, get out of my palace." Relena felt a vein pop in her forehead. "We big kids have more exacting tasks to see to."
What a bastard! Damn him. She'd have to bring out the big guns and she really, really didn't want to use the big guns.
"What? You have nothing to say?" He absently waved at her. "Shoo."
Relena looked him straight in the eye and opened her mouth. "Oh, I wish I were and Oscar Mayer wiener."
Duo scooted up into a sitting position and then shrugged his incomprehension, holding out one hand in entreaty.
"'Prince Heero to Wed,'" quoted the seagull, tossing Duo the morning edition of the paper. "This afternoon. How did you manage that?"
Duo skimmed over the article. It had to be the most vague thing he'd ever read. The name of the bride wasn't mentioned, nor was the exact time of the ceremony. The only absolute was that the celebrations would begin at sundown. Now wasn't that extremely fishy?
"There's a woman here to see you. She says it's urgent."
Crap. Duo would have bet his mother's entire fortune that Heero's visitor last night was the Sea Hag.
Relena. That interfering bitch. He sprung off the overstuffed featherbed and into the first set of clothes he got his hands on and nearly made it out the door before being cut off by the seagull.
"Maxwell, what is wrong?" Wufei held Duo in place with a hand on his chest. "That article was referring to you, was it not?"
The merman shook his head.
"If not you, then who?"
Duo spread his hands as if to say, "Who the hell do you think?"
Wufei compressed his lips into a thin line. "Relena." The merman nodded. "How?" A shrug. "So, what are we going to do about it?"
Good question. Duo had to see Heero. He had to talk to him and find out what had happened in the few hours since they'd last seen each other. He needed to figure out what the Sea Hag had told Heero.
Duo smiled at Wufei, patted him on the shoulder and very carefully mouthed, "Call in the troops." After a thumbs up he slipped past the silent seagull and out the door.
"I just don't understand, Heero." That was Sally. "Who is this girl? Where did she come from?"
"Vanessa Darilan from Sanc. We've been through this." That was Heero's cold tone.
Someone huffed. "You really want to marry her?"
Duo pressed against the door harder. "Yes." Duo's stomach boiled. Why wouldn't Heero choose her over him? She was a woman, after all. Even if it was Relena. Who was he to keep Heero from happiness?
"Since when do you like girls?" The merman fell over in shock. It only took a second for the meaning of the question to register and he had to scramble to his knees in order to not to miss any of the conversation. He must have missed Heero's answer because Sally was speaking again. "And what about Duo?"
"What about him?" It was so clinical, so cold and Duo was sure he didn't want to hear any more, but his ear remained fixed to the door panel.
"What about him?" Sally repeated incredulously. "Heero, if you're going to deny what everyone else in this castle sees when we watch you with Duo then you're a fool. Marry your little woman, but don't complain to me when you realize that she is only using you. In fact, don't complain to anyone. You are not the prince that we love and respect."
"You are dismissed."
"Fine."
Duo only had seconds to flip out of the doorway before Sally stomped through and slammed them shut behind her. She caught him immediately in her sights. "Follow me. We need to talk."