Disclaimer: Many organizations have come together to bring you this fanficiton fusion. Among them are: Bandai, Sunrise & Sotsu with Gundam Wing. Hans Christian Andersen and Disney with The Little Mermaid. Douglas Adams with A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hiro Mashima, Kodansha and TOKYOPOP with Rave Master. PIXAR with Finding Nemo. Satoru Akahori, Ray Omishi, Media Works, Mixx Entertainment & ADV with Sorcerer Hunters. ROBOT, JFN, STEP, A.T. Interactive, AIC & VIZ Video with Trouble Chocolate. Rikdo Koshi, SHONENGAHOSHA & ADV with Excel Saga. You Hyun, DAIWAN & TOKYOPOP with Faerie's Landing. Yoko Matsushita, Hakusensha & VIZ for Yami no Matsuei. Kazuya Minekura, ISSAISHA, TOKYOPOP Inc., & ADV with Saiyuki. Yuu Watase, SHOGAKUKAN, VIZ & Pioneer with Fushigi Yuugi. 95.5 fm Detroit for Tic Tac and the Hot Girl Check In. And Ladybug Oblivion for forcing the project on me, denying me TV time, video game time, eating time (apparently I can type with one hand) and sleeping time until the thing was finished.
Warnings: Gratuitous cameo appearances (as you can see from the extensive disclaimer), numerous (and quite unnecessary) quotes, and minor character bashing (including but not limited to Quatre, Catherine, Hilde and most especially Relena.) Shonen-ai.
He bobbed up, peeking above the window ledge and quickly assessing the situation. Everyone was accounted for and Quatre sent up a little prayer that they weren't too angry to listen to his story. He took a deep breath and slipped in through the open portal.
Floating up to a respectable height, he cleared his throat loudly. "Good Morning, Your Highnesses." Six pairs of eyes pinned him to the wall. Six identical expressions of surprise then unanimously hardened into varying degrees of worry.
"Quatre! Where have you been?" Fanta asked.
"Where's Duo?" demanded Hinano.
"Mother's furious, Catcat," Tira offered, looking somewhat furious herself.
With an evil grin, Medea bumped Hinano out of her way. "And why shouldn't she be? Duo did run off."
"We don't know that for sure!" cried a frantic Excel. "Anything could have happened to our little bubby!" She latched on to Quatre, shaking him violently. "What happened to Bubby? Where's my Bubby? It's not like I gave him permission to leaveafterallheisthelittlebrother,littlebubby,DuoDuoDuo! Come back! Don't abandon your sisters! We need you to come back TO US!!!!"
Quatre was sure something important broke off during that last vicious snap, but everything seemed to still be working when Excel finally freed him. He focused on the only sister yet to comment, positive that she would be the last thing he would see. Ever.
Chocolate calmly raised one red eyebrow. "Explain."
The fish brushed himself off, regaining some sense of dignity. "I would love to."
After about fifteen minutes the merman felt his fingernails dig into his thighs and forcefully relaxed his hands. This was getting nowhere on the express. He snatched a pen and on the desktop calendar he scribbled, "You brought me here to talk, so talk."
She opened her mouth, but then closed it without saying anything.
It was all Duo could do to not tear his hair out. He glanced at the clock. It was already noon.
Lessee... Noon minus sunset equals... Oi, crap!
{Listen, girlie,} he scratched, double tracing the word "girlie." {I've got eight hours before really, really bad things happen. Give a guy a break and spit it out!!}
The woman's eyes flicked up from the note. "Bad things? What bad things?"
Duo sighed, submitting himself to telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. {My real name is Duo Triton and I-----}
"Good God!" cried Sally, accidentally knocking the pen out of Duo's hand. "You're Queen Une's heir?"
Duo gaped. What the hell? She knew about his mother? Recovering his bottom jaw, he nodded.
"You're Shinigami?"
Another slow nod.
Sally shook her head. "His parents are gonna kill me." She mumbled something that sounded like, "But that means..." and then suddenly, she stood up, slapping the table with both fists. "Screw it! Gimme the details!"
A spontaneous laugh bubbled up from her gut and out her mouth in a near cackle.
"Doesn't that line usually begin with, 'Houston?'" he replied, equally as quietly.
"Ha ha," she said dryly. "I'm serious, your highness."
The prince broke off his study of the wedding guests to give Sally an annoyed stare. "What is it?"
"It seems the wedding barge launched before the priest embarked."
Silence, then, "There's no priest on board?"
"Now, I didn't say that. In fact, there are one or two priests here as guests. I'm sure I can scrounge someone up."
"Do it."
Sally held back a grin as she turned to the room full of wedding guests. "Friends. Honored Guests. We have a bit of a situation here. The priest is AWOL and I thought maybe one of you would like the honors." She paused for a full minute, but no one spoke up. "Miss Miaka, you're the Priestess of Suzaku."
A slightly pudgy junior high girl replied, "Sorry, ma'am. I'm the wrong kind of priestess."
Sally nodded and scanned the crowd for another candidate. "Priest Genjyo Sanzo?"
"I don't do weddings," came the pissed off response from a blond Buddhist monk, sitting at a table in the back of the room.
The advisor turned back to the prince. "Maybe there's someone on the staff. I'll check."
Heero checked his watch. "You have ten minutes."